Lost.

I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore.

I start a place to write, and then I lose my words. I can't think or write and I feel almost this mental constipation because I can feel the words inside of my head begging to be released, but my stupid fingers can't put them in the right order.

Albus was miffed this morning for some reason and he wouldn't tell me why. I hate that because then I go through the entire day wondering if it's something I've done wrong.

I made bread yesterday that was intended to be my breakfast for the next week. It's already gone. I feel like I just swallowed a brick, but it was a tasty one.

I feel like having a relationship is the most damn complicated thing in my life. I love Albus, but I feel so trapped sometimes. I want to do a study abroad sometime, but I feel like he will hold a grudge against me for leaving him behind.

I don't want to leave him, ever, but I don't want him to be my whole life, either. I want to do other things, hang out with other friends, but sometimes he gets hurt, and it's so much trouble nowadays to try and make arrangements with people when all I want to do at the end of the day is read and sleep.

Anticipation.

I've been fluctuating between intense excitement and intense fear for the past week.

This election is going to be so incredibly big, and even though there has been so much bullshit going on, what with anonymous people trying to convince voters that they should vote on a different day, or that they could be arrested if they showed up to the polls, or a million other underhanded strategies to keep people away...

There is already a record turnout, especially among the college-student crowd.

The vast majority of these scams have been directed toward Obama supporters. And do you know what I think?

I think it's because the Republicans are fucking terrified, because they know Obama's actually got a chance, and that he's stirred up all of this passion for politics among people who wouldn't previously have even cared.

That, if nothing else, is what excites me.

There is hope.